Should I tell my young children I have cancer?

Yes, being honest is better than pretending everything is okay. Even though your children will be upset when they learn about your cancer, the article advises not to hide it, because even very young children can sense when something is wrong.

Children notice a lot. They will see that you don't feel well, are away from home more often, or can't spend as much time with them as you used to. Children as young as 18 months old begin to notice what's going on around them. Telling the truth is better than letting them imagine the worst, so it's important to be honest and give your kids time to ask questions and express their feelings.

When you talk with children of all ages, some reassuring messages help: nothing they did, thought, or said caused your cancer; having cancer doesn't mean you'll die from it, and many people live with cancer for a long time; they can't make you well but there are ways they can help you feel better; and you will make sure they are taken care of no matter what happens.

How you talk can be adjusted to your child's age, and support resources like teachers, family members, and spiritual leaders can help. Your health care team can also point you to counselors and materials for talking with children.