How can caregivers take care of themselves?
The National Cancer Institute's answer starts with a number: find at least 15 to 30 minutes each day to do something for yourself. A nap, exercise, yard work, a hobby, a movie, stretching, or simply sitting still.
Its reasoning is not sentimental. Caring for your own needs, hopes, and desires gives you the strength to carry on.
Do not cut out your own life
NCI draws a distinction people miss. It is fine to cut back on personal activities. It is not fine to cut them out.
Keeping some regular activities matters enough that NCI cites evidence: studies show that dropping them increases the stress a caregiver feels. Doing something at a different time of day, or for less time than usual, still counts.
Bigger blocks of free time come from handing things off. NCI's own examples of what to give away are chores such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, or yard work; childcare and school pickup; driving to appointments or collecting medicines; and being the contact person who keeps everyone else updated. It points to SignUpGenius and Lotsa Helping Hands as ways to organize the requests.
Be ready for some people not to help
This is one of the more useful passages NCI publishes, because it removes a source of private hurt.
Some people are dealing with their own problems. Some do not have the time. Some are afraid of cancer, or had a bad experience with it before, and do not want to feel that again. Some believe distance is respectful. Some do not realize how hard things are unless asked directly. And some feel awkward because they do not know how to show they care.
NCI's advice is to explain what is needed, or to let it go, depending on how much the relationship matters. Saying nothing while resentment builds is the option it warns against.
Your body is keeping score
NCI lists changes caregivers often have: fatigue, a weaker immune system, sleep problems, slower wound healing, higher blood pressure, changes in appetite or weight, headaches, and mood changes including anxiety and depression.
Against that it lists concrete steps. Keep up with your own checkups and screenings. Take your own medicine as prescribed, and ask the doctor for a larger prescription to save pharmacy trips. Eat properly, bringing food from home for long hospital days. Get rest, using short naps if nights are short. And exercise, with the same 15 to 30 minutes a day.
The two-week rule
NCI gives caregivers a threshold, and it is the same one it gives patients.
Stress causes many feelings and body changes. But if those changes last more than two weeks, talk to a doctor. NCI adds a sentence that has clearly been earned in practice: some caregivers realize they have become depressed and need help.
For thoughts of suicide, NCI's instruction elsewhere is to dial 911 in an emergency, or call, text, or chat 988 for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which is staffed 24 hours a day.
What helps besides rest
NCI names four things with evidence or long practice behind them.
Talking to others matters. Studies show it is very important to most caregivers, especially when feelings cannot be said to the person with cancer. A counselor, social worker, psychologist, or faith leader can hold what friends cannot.
Support groups meet in person, by phone, or online. Listening without speaking is a normal way to use one.
Journaling helps. NCI says research shows writing can relieve negative thoughts and feelings and may improve health.
And laughter is not disrespectful. NCI is explicit that it is healthy, releases tension, and is a good coping skill. Our guide to caregiver self-care covers routines that hold up over months, and caregiver burnout signs covers what to watch for.
NCI's caregiver support page was last updated on February 3, 2025.
Sources
Want the full picture? Read our complete explanation: Caregiver Self-Care: Looking After Yourself
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